mere hours into

an eternity of days

and my soul

is consumed in silence.

not the rich, deep

contemplative quiet

where saints are

formed and reared.

just the quietness

of ordinary days.

days where thoughts

fall too far back

into the crevices,

and caverns,

of the brain.

a place too vast,

still numbed with pain.

I haven’t yet the courage

or the strength

to crawl in there

to retrieve them.

like a handful of

released balloons,

all thoughts seem

to escape me.

staring straight

into distance,

i do not know

whether I am

glimpsing into the

future,

or gazing into the past.

for in these moments of

utter solitude,

a paradox is birthed.

in my mind,

in this beginning

of forever,

time has both stopped

and lapsed.