Sometimes, this pain not only consumes me, but pushes me further into unknown depths.

a place where the ground falls far beneath my feet and

i find myself standing on thawing ice, just as it is beginning to crack.

i want to run, but instinctively know that i can’t move forward, and dare not move back.

praying to God, i calm my heart and still my breath, putting my trust in something far greater than myself. 

when Christ does come to me, He is not the Resurrected Lord,. returning in all His Glory,

instead, He meets me in my broken state as the Agonizing Lord, bruised, bloodied and beaten, His hands and feet still nailed to the Cross.

with a Face most men shun and turn away from… He hangs over me, His body bent, but ever close.

all He asks is that i freely give my love, and comfort Him in His pain…

He asks me to kiss His wounds, even though i know that it was my sins that ripped His flesh.

He asks me to love Him in a way that i have never Loved before, to Love Him in His brokenness. His body still writhe in agony, His body still wracked with pain.

it is all i can do to stand there, trying in vain, to pull myself together, tears falling from my eyes like rain.

i begin to kiss His feet, His outstretched Hands…. His Bloodied Face. i am both overwhelmed and consumed, by His embrace.

Blood mixed with Water gushes forth from His Side… His Mercy washes over me,. though i feel not worthy of such forgiveness, with His grace i am restored. i am filled with peace…. Christ’s Peace. and i realize, that no longer burdened with my sinfulness, i am no longer waiting for the ice to break.