and so begins this season of Lent.

Just a few short hours ago, I was making promises of spring, with dreams of renewal and growth.

And today, my heart is like an empty swing, being moved by an unseen breeze…

no matter how hard I try to settle and still it, it is always just a bit out of reach, sending ripples of pain

through my hollowed chest. i have promised my heart to You, Oh Lord… i have promised it to You,

in all its brokenness.. in all its unworth. And though Your embrace is stored safely in my memory and i

have retained my confidence in Your unfailing love…. this season of smudges and ashes causes my mind

to doubt… It is a seperating away from my earthly attachments… and whether they be they good or bad….

it still hurts…

This shattering of self brings me falling to me knees. My eyes are filled with the bitterness of tears, and

i beg You Lord, as this season of Lent unfolds before me, to allow this misery to not be a product of my

own self love, but rather the result of an honest attempt of emptying my heart so that at the end of these

forty days, it will truly be that I have the Heart of Christ.