with a pain so tangible,

it sears and burns

through

the flesh and heart.

this emotional tide feels

much like an ocean wave

washing over me,

knocking me off

balance.

it is a struggle

resisting the temptation

of just letting myself go,

and falling face first

into the tide’s pull

towards the deep blue sea.

allowing myself

to be overthrown

by the rushing flow.

though i put up a struggle,

this tendency to sadness

is an anxious resident,

disturbing the peace

that belongs to the soul.

it is only after much prayer

and Eucharistic contemplation,

i’ve come to the

realization that what

the soul is suffering

as loss,

is really the longing

of the heart to

become totally united with

whatever it is that the Lord

created it to be,

even while the rest of my being

is still mustering up to fight.