SecondHandSaintsblog

there was a time

when I put my faith in

in what you said.

because of your position,

i gave you

the benefit of my trust.

now, i realize that

by blindly trusting you,

i was allowing you

to twist and distort

the reality of truth…

even when my children

were hurt by your words,

you had your excuses

to what was

said and what was done.

i gave you the benefit

of doubt

and i trusted your

stories and your lies.

there is a certain charm

about you… still,

and that will make it

hard for others

to accept the truth,

but i know what is

true,

and i see the

lingering effects

of the damage that was done.

it is real and not

some concocted story,

as you liked to say.

so, as we go on

with our lives,

unfortunately

my children will have to live

with their memories of you,

but not for any

of the good things

you like to think,

that you have done.

we like to think

we will wind up in heaven,

but it is the harsh words

spoken to those

‘closest’ to us,

when we think

no one else will hear.

or the insulting way

we treat those young

people who look

to us for guidance and love.

Where my friends,

is the good Lord

in all of this?

it is because we

have allowed ourselves

to think of our life as

a mere performance,

we have placed ourselves

center stage,

as if we could ever be

the starring role!

Hah!!

we spend so

much time pretending

we are someone

we really aren’t.

casting off those who are

honest with us,

while making ourselves

the center of attention,

which actually doesn’t

belong to us.

we tell others

to live humbly

while we a ourselves

boast of our brilliance

and our talents,

as if they

came from us!

much of our life is spent

in this duplicity,

we must ask ourselves

this question,

how can we think

we will go before

God, the creator of

the universe and

continue with

this charade?

my dear friends,

we must always

remember,

there is no deceiving

the Lord,

He is the Truth, Himself.

late night wind

and rain

the lights flicker

and fade

finally they go out

again.

all the subtle electric hums

are silent…

darkness has swallowed

all of the sights,

all of the sounds.

even the shadows

are no longer found.

there is no looking

forward.

there is no turning back.

when no one else

is around,

no one else can be

counted on,

You are here.

in the dark next to

me…

there are still traces

of the graces You

showered upon me

that remain in

my soul from the

Blessed Sacrament.

In the quiet

my heart still beats

Your memory.

my heart still

beats Your name.

it is Your hand I find

to hold.

Your embrace that

helps me hold

it all together.

Your encouraging

Words that whisper

through the silence.

somehow filling the complete

and utter darkness,

with calm and peace,

when the power flickers

and the world around

me is engulfed

in black

You remain

steadfast.

i fell for

the randomness of your

words and acts.

our conversations

that stretched out

to the moon and

back.

beyond the stars

and galaxies,

we were out there

lost in space.

but you were also

in here with me,

where my heart beat

skips a beat

and jumps and pumps

thick red blood.

caught up in

this frailty of love.

searching for a reason

in those days and

in those seasons.

but i have been

away too long.

the path i once knew

like a song,

is overgrown

and drags out long.

turning,

spinning,

upside down

i try to find my way

around.

but it is late.

dusk is rushing straight

into dawn,

and me,

i am fading

and graying fast

like lost forgotten

photographs,

tucked in a box

at the attic’s back.

there will be

no more gathering

of days for us,

just a gathering of dust.

a premonition

of what is surely

to become of us.

at one time, there were so

many things i wanted to ask you,

so many things i wanted to know.

but since we have parted ways,

and the time continues

to pass with each day,

i realize i don’t know you now,

and i really didn’t even

know you then.

i also realize that with each passing moon,

and each morning’s dawn,

there was so much

importance put upon

unimportant things.

as the distance between us

continues to grow,

comes the ability to see

things more objectively.

with a clarity that must surely

be a grace from the Lord,

i understand that

not everything

i wanted was what

God wanted for me,

and i understand that

so much of me,

you took for granted,

wasn’t even

your’s for the taking.